the days have been so lonely without you by my side. feeling as if we're never together, time passes like a minute seems to be like an hour, clock tick-ing so slowly i can't wait for the next hour to come. days passed so slowly, its only been 1 week and 2 days. can't imagine how long i have to carry on with this and how long i have to suffer. i never imagined that i could put you aside my life. you're disrupting my every moment in life. wanted to see you once more and i couldn't even have that fulfilled. i know i know, that's called lousy. been thinking alot, and i've started t get worried for no reasons that seem like, what for? everyday's life all about you in my mind, the worries && more more worries. wanted to let you go but fact proves i couldn't cause each time i wanted to, my mind went blank. all i wanted to was just to spend one day with me without any disturbance, just one sweet memory baby. but you indirectly proved to me this couldn't happen. turn-d to something which i never thought i would ever learnt to, troubles was gone, but only for that few secs. but that few seconds was definitely the best moment, cause i never thought of anything. you said you've gotto study for ur exams, was that just an excuse? sigh. many things go on in my mind. but i dunno where to start from. we're seriously getting further and further without any doubts. tried all i can to save this, but you were unwilling to. it was total hell, to hear all those hurting words coming out from you. know you'll never read this damn damn blog, but what i need to do, was to let go of what's going on in my mind. if you ever read this damn blog, forgive me if any of this were stuffs you wouldn't want me to let go of. take care baby, wish you lucks in exam.

the day without the 3 other people!
sian luhs! jasmine, josephine, jessie all never come! left me, mel.y all along! zZz. damn bad i know. damn sian too. went mel.y house after school, hmmms, then went plaza kfc, ate finish and waited for benny, zZz, walk-d to school bus stop and home i was. HOW BORING THE DAY IS WITHOUT THEM! and i got to zi high luhs! zZz!
decided that nothing can be done now, regrets are useless,
could only be optimistic and hope for the best.
don't wish to ruin ....... futures.
take care baby. maybe you're just not meant for me.
maybe you're not my fairytale and all these are bad dreams.......

nothing to blog about, something was supposed to be pass-d to me ytd night, i waited and cant. ccause that person's drunk. zZz. kinda pissed actually. rarh! wells, nvmnvm, used the com till 2 plus, and that's when i realised its so late already! zZz, so closed all convers and went to bed, 8 plus im awake, tried to go back to bed but couldn't, so woke up and com once more! haahs.
i dunno what to say lerhs, well, maybe not going anywhere ltr, parents off to malaysia. sian luhs.
&& last warning!! my fxcking temper dunno what happen, im fxcking easily to get irritated now, all despos' get lost and fxck off, all those who want to irritate me, try and you'll see what happens, those whom im not irritated with, sorry if i throw tantrum at you. bye


troubles don't seem to leave me alone. every brand new day is ruined with each trouble!
no one can help me, simply no one. i just can't seem to be the melissa in the past. without any worries.
nothing can solve the problem, each problem is stack on top of each other i gave up!
sometimes i thought i'm crazy, even if i'm not, i'll gonna be soon.
kept brooding over those fxcking worries, never known the pain and suffering.
moment i thought you weren't by my side, and nothing i could do.
i thought i could handle, but it proved to be likewise, i can't help but think.
do i still love you like i did? why?.. distance was supposed to be no problem.
im so confused, baby, i really am, just when i needed you, felt avoidance and heck-care-ness.
i jsut don't have the courage to even speak to you now, fearing every single thing.
someone, help me? save me? sigh

C.I.P

wells. cip today. quite fun, FIRST cip with jasmineyaphuiee-my siaoehs!
hahas, hmmms, kinda hardworking at first, then after that, kunleng, hwee wen, jackie and mel.y did the job while me and jasmine slacked below the void deck, also got one very important job can! take care of the newspapers and all =D hahas, good girls ehs ?
wells, went compass, had kfc, full sia. =x. hahas. slack-d at 227a, then went plaza meet charmine! =D
went another block, 112 i think, and slacked while waiting for liting. then home i was!
and just heard from my lil' brother, he's going to malaysia with mummy and daddie today! weeee! song bohs! hahas, can do whatever i want, but only till tmr or monday ? hahas. not bad also luhs.


im super troubled, i dunno what to do, why is this happening to us, what caused the change in ur attitude towards me, cared for you and what i got was a msg saying im lame. i really dunno what to do! i cant make up my mind. blame me for that. didn't want to gain ur attention. but girls need care..... baby.....

im so moody this FEW days. zZz.
sian, today damn fun!
so kipped nyaa again, cause mr chan never come, i don't want lorhs, in the end he was above at the 4th level, dunno why? lols. so after that mr goh, the extra one, ask-d us to walk around instead of sitting down, ( which includes me, jasmine, charmine and chen ning ), charmine talk back luhs, but we dont care luhs, went walking around. hahaha! damn tired, of everything, my life.... hais, kinda acted happy, or what they said, zi high? wahahas. sian, was laughing so loudly at every damn single thing, zZz, stupid i know, what can i do? i tiam tiam, teacher ask me what happen then they start kpo kpo lorhs, so zi high, lols. sian rights?
billy's last day today, sian! geog sure fail de! zZz, took some pics with him, =D those memories lush! will update them as soon as jojo and jasmine send me lorhs. hais.
to billy : HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY TRIP AT BEIJING! TAKE CARE! we'll miss you!

had a few puffs today, damn nice, finally, succumb-d to the temptaion!
=D didn't regret!

mood swing day?

wells.
school's bored once more. had mood swings the whole day. zZzz. and therefore, quarrelled with jackie alot of times. so i'll start off, nyaa was fun, CAUSE I SKIP-D IT! with mel.y, by giving the excuse we got cramps! wahaha. but actually, i was moodless, to jog or run luhs. nvmnvm, after that, marvin chan came back with that group of girls, ask-d me and mel.y over, and we both said we got cramps, but obvously, mel.y's acting is definitely better cause she's always has pale lips! zZz. tell you the conver btn me and him
marvinchan : why didn't you come?
me : i got cramps & i went to change mahs! then i come back you all pao liaos.
marvinchan : speak english.
me : OKOK, when i come back, you guys zhao liaos.
marvinchan : why didn't came looking for us,
me : how i know you all run where orhs!
marvinchan : okays, next time before nyaa starts, if you're not feeling well, come and tell me.
me: hanah hanah. okok.
CUTE RIGHT! lmao! hahas, continue.
so after nyaa was science, was busy sms-ing. zZz. miss chen kinda realised i guess, cause she kept calling my name like, melissa tan, copy finish already anot, melissa tan, what you doing?, melissa tan, pass this form to jasmine, zZz. hahas. lames? hahas. i know. was english. did group work like, filling in particulars of whatever job application de luhs. recess, had soup. yummy, hahas. and thats all for recess. yupyup, info skills next, went library, watched harry potter and the whatever stone i think, hahas. fill-d in the worksheets and i.t was next! the most fun one luhs! today did something new, like, oh whatever! i wasn't paying attention anyways, im so blur with all that stuffs i rather surf the net then listen to that teacher babbling like he's talking to himself? zZz. hahas, went tagging ppl's blog, finally, went class blog cause lynn ask-d me too! began talking in the tag board with kunleng, and the rest of them join in! damn fun luhs. names like 'my spamming skills rocks', 's'pore president', 'lim lai chuan', 'alan lim', and more luhs. forgot. and hahas. gtg. bye. =D

im so bored.

im so so so bored. so i zi-lian-d. wahahahas. not very nice i know. =D

e-learning day sucks

E- LEARNING DAY TOTALLY SUCKS LUHS!
so lag and all. make me damn pek chek luhs.
wells, yesterday, basically, i was at home the whole day till my tuition time. and lucky jackie was here in the morning with me, so wells. start from morning.
woke up at 7 plus 8, and used to com! hahas. was online and watching the ' tian guo de jie ti ', like, damn touching. but somehow, this time i couldn't cry sia. wells. couldn't figure out why. jackie came at around 10 plus. and then i went down to fetch him, mymy! something caught my eye. at the staircase. my bearbearrrrrr. and its like, all wet cause its raining! couldn't comfirm whether the bear was mine, so nvm, went to fetch jackie. then 'escorted' him to my house luhs. show-d him the bear, and he went like, 'take luhs', i don't want uhs. so so drenched and its like the seventh month, mummy said dont pick up anything. ohmy, hurts to see that bear lying there and i couldn't take it! ( im not some kinda crazy ppl luhs, i just love bears! ) dragged my feet home. *awwwww. jackie come my house rights, supposed to do project, okays. we did, surfed the net for some inspirations, as we're totally cluless on what to do, found poems on spags, ( spaghetti ) , hahas. couldn't figure out what to do. jackie wanted to play maple but my laptop don't have, so he tried dl-ing and he said he hates my laptop cause its fast?! zzzz. so he waited for 30mins and he did a countdown. hahas. damn cute luhs. so he went playing his maple and i went replying comments in friendsters. lazy to blog. =X. haas, he went off around 2+, and he said my bear wasn't at the stairs anymore!, ohmytiantiantian! my bearbear! sad rights?!!! ahhhh. poor lil' teddy. =( wells. e-learning sucks alrights. off to tuition at 5, and back at 7. wells, some zi-lians ( above ) after see-ing some ass-es copying my poses, and i copied them back. =D

holding on to you like a stupid fool,
but you're still not mine.

to mr james soh. my i.t teacher.
haiyoh! you damn de kpkpkp you know anot. write you, kp, never write you, also kpkpkp. sian luhs. want me praise you, wahlau. nothing to praise lehs. you also never teach me anything how to praise? lols. aiyah. here luhs.
you very very good luhs

to botakk.

hey, this is specially for you. hahas. aye? touched yeahs?
2 months 21 days. thanks for those sweet moments, and yeahs. although it has became memories, it'll always be with me. thanks for the sacrifice.
during these 2 months and 21 days, lots of ups and downs. hardly any quarrels but small tiffs? hahas. time passes so slow without you by my side. thanks for bear-ing my stupid attitudes, and accepting my tantrum. you've been a patient baby. kinda hard to let go, but like what you said, we''ve to let go one day. and i thought over it and yeahs. a shorter pain would be better then a longer pain [ translated from chinese, hahas ]. i've seriously don't know how to thank you. you're really a nice guy. hope you can find someone that could make you happy. and hahas, take care of yourself yeahs? remember the promise you made to me before we ended. got it? once more, thank you and sorry for everything =D
ps : don't cry after reading. haahs. gan laogong!

pics!

okays. so, today's national day!.
happy birthday singapore!
stayed at home, wells, wanted to go beach in the morning with family, but rained and then stop, but even so, daddy didn't wanna go for he was afraid there's thunder? hahas, cute sehs. erms, wells. did nothing much today. watched tv and all. =D. nice way of spending national day at home yeahs? yeahyeah. right....
wells,the pics for yesterday were sent in today, so yeah. will update! pics below!




and some more which i'll post next time. rarrr. internet fxcking problem.

photos taken on monday!

wells, theo nly thing i could say is, we're imitating this someone. =D

dancing time!

aye. happy advanced national day! hahas. went to school at 6.30+, with jojo. bought drinks and to the needlework room. saw my ganlaopo, jessie, nice with that black skinnies. haahs, make-ups, then went class to take attendence, hahas, pin-d up fringe, weird sehs, hahas. nvmnvm, run through the routines. hopppe won't forget steps. time passes so fast. after that was our turn! was so nervous! so i remembered i did one step wrongly. rarrrr. but not so obvious. so maybe they wouldn't know? hahas, but now i've said, they'll know?! , ahas, lols. dancing was fun, but the time on stage is like so so fast?! wells, i felt no energy, after that went back to holding room, miss zu came down, was guessing that she'll be scolding us, in the end, she said it was good but the stomping was soft, kinda shock? wells, its encouraging though. after that to hall, danced and sang. enthuuu laas. with kunleng, jojo, jessie, chen ning, meiyi., and yeahs. concert end around 9+ 10? went back home for a bathe, went back to primary school. talk-d to my pri school teacher. woah! long time no see and he said i've changed alot? where got? hahas. wells, took alot of pics. with mine and jojo's phone. will post it asap. wells, =D.
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! HAPPY 42 BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

im always thinking of you even though you're not with me. i couoldn't even try to see you.

i.t once more.

okays. sorry for skipping all the other days. no chance to use the com. reaching home late each day. hahas. dance and all lorhs. erms? then, wells. i'll start now baas. erms. like. school's fine. skipped nyaa due to a injure leg. hahahaha! =XX. that's an advantage for having an injured leg. went back class after nyaa. bored. mood swings. rarrr. english teacher, miss huang didn't come. sobs. miss lau came in for relieve. sian. then she left after one period. miss chang came in. i guess? that's the time i went crazy with mel.y, ahahas. recess. ate kuay teow. pity for charmine whoc ouldn't get her kuay teow. hahas. lols. after recess, went walking around sec1's classes. hahahas. said HELLO to dahling allana, hahahas. did it on purpose to spite that terence. haas, info was next. waited outseide libarary with mel.y, jmine, and jackie. went craaaaayyye. laughing non-stop and therefore, mel.y has husky voice now. hhahas. =D [ and she's laughing reading this. -X ], went pangsehs and bojio's, hahahas. hoping and jumping past classes. hahahas. damn cute laas. i meant, jackie and all. =D. went back class. help-d jackie to cut his nails. hahas. pro sehs. my skills not bad yeahs! aye? went i.t, that's the lesson now. teacher asked me to write him inside. wells, praises and fxcking comments laas. rahr to him laas. hahahas. wells, so i've got to say. HELLO JAMES. hahahas. lmao! dance tomorrow! ahhhh. concert! worries, anxious and all! scared i screw-it-up!.
alrights. alrights. confidence! jiayou everyone!