loving someone is difficult, giving him up is worse ...

omg, i can't believe i actually privatised my blog, so uber sorry. in fact, have to thank jo, otherwise i wouldn't know that i actually privatised my blog!
hurhur.

FRIDAY -
wasn't a very good day. had heats after chinese test. went stadium w nat.s , jojo, jackie, carina, bryan ng, tingys and yuewan. discus heats and finals, sigh, i was 5th at first, but then everyone dropped by a rank when this angmoh ( not discriminating! ) threw and she got first, urgh damn! 6th don't sound nice lah! rah!
but nevermind, at least my results not that bad, got a 13.63m(: although i don't feel good having this record .. made someone not happy ):

anyway, was cca relay heats then, urgh, somehow we're not up to standard, we got last i guess? when i got the baton, i remembered i was either the last or the second last to run .. sian 1/2 .. no hope in going finals le ):
LAST YEAR IN NVS LE LEH! why like that!! ):
and then bboys got last too .. cause john sprained his leg )): but nevermind, they got next year, train harder boys! :D
am very proud of c girls, they got first! yayy yayy! jiayou jiayou! :D:D

TODAY -
was phys and english common test. i'm sooo angry okay! i actually missed out one mcq question! urgh, i know it's only 1 mark, but 1 mark IS very important! D:
but i have confi i can pass? ha ha.

english was .. erm, alright i guess, thou what i wrote in the compo don't really sound "sec 4" but i hope i can pass :X

went swimming at py's house! just came back, i'm tanned! very lightly thou, LOL.
the sun went bright and faint and bright and faint, how am i supposed to get an even tan!? LOL.
anyway, i'm currently eating cup noodles that had a surface area bigger then my face, so .. yeah, it don't really taste yummy thou :X

CIAOS .

what am i supposed to do ? i gotta leave but i'll miss you ..

what hurts the most, is saying the truth right in your face

greater tolerance lead to better attitude.
true? i invented this, hahaha!

i hate truths, i'd rather hide behind the lies and contradictions people are giving me. i don't wanna get hurt, cause truth hurts more then anything else. well, not those positive kinda truths, i'm speaking about the negative kinda truths.
it's been so long since i last posted such "emo" posts huh? idk why, i just feel like writing this out. it's pretty random.

i know the truth, but i don't wanna hear it from you.
because once more, truth sucks, especially if it's from you.
i don't want to give up on you, i don't want to stop loving you, i don't want to be unable to face you.
& i just can't let you go.

it seems ironic. to others, you're no one to me. but to me, you're everything i ever wanted.

i swear i need a drink, he isn't here to stop me, but i promised i won't touch it again.
i need a smoke, but for his sake, i can't touch it anymore.
i need a shoulder ... to cry on.

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

dark chocs taste so sweet for the first time in my life

hey!
dance was fun, i enjoyed today's dance prac! :D
we have to learn how to erm, okay, idk how to describe, but i loveeee doing it! like ballet please, super fun, jes says i'm crazy -.-'

lesson was alright, as usual, english was a bore!
chem - mr hafeez didn't come, and we had to do the worksheet 12 which i did, with lynnie & jo. apparently, jackie's busy playing w lynnie's phone ._.
and jo's too blur to understand the questions ... so ended up me and lynnie doing it, har har.

was maths afterwards, SHIT! i scored a 19/30 for probability test! omg, i dreamt of 19/30 on sunday night! it happened to him, and then it happened to me, how freaky it is?! xP

had geog test after school, i guess it's okay, i did some studying ._. thou partly last minute :X
hope i'll pass, let's all pray :D
movie screening after geog test, oh! did i mention i went canteen w carina and got a durian cake or something like that - it looks like tapioca cake, and it's really yummy! it's not dry at all, it's sooo nice! :D
ohoh, movie screened was mama mia, kinda nice(: it'll be so much nicer if he's there, HOHOHO :P

CIAOS :D
can i thank me 2 lovely girls? thank you girls, you guys are the best!
( ps : they know who they are ^^ )

i swear, he's the love { ♥ }

hey,
i swear saturday's been the best day and worst day ever.
but i won't say anything, all i know is ... ahhh, it's the best day to me ...
am very happy on that day thou i'm suber worried!

but .. ILOVEYOU :D:D

sunday, i slept till eleven plus, LMAO, nothing much i guess?
went for dinner w family, ahma and uncle. stupid dinner, had to wait for close to an hour before it finally came ._.

monday - oh, i kinda forgot. all i remembered was dance prac in the afternoon, i indirectly caused fab terr and jes to be punished )): sorry! i really thought dance starts at 3.30pm! )):

jes lost her phone ))":

and after dance, nat jo tiff and i trained for the discus. woah, tiff is danger! she throws the discus and it hits the lamp pole! omg lah!

can i ever win jojo is any freaking throwing events!? roar ... ... ^^

today - heh, he nearly acc me to yoga! hees, but what i meant when i ask him acc me was through sms, i guess he thought i wanted him to bring me there, LOL. aiyah, also never, so ... whatever! haha!

but sadded, my arms are jelly now ._.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY JARON TAN :D :D :D
iloveyou ahkor!

okay,
i had a crappy morning and afternoon. i thought i was being nice, but i can't take it anymore. i hate being treated as transparent, tell me about it.
don't say i'm whining again, try being in my shoes, wanna try?

i hate today morning.

i'm really afraid of you now, really afraid.

why when i wanna be a nice person, people would have to piss me off?
why when i'm in a good mood, people would have to make me angry?
ra ra.

why do i have to be so soft hearted?

hey,

i had a really meaningful day yesterday. i went lunch w jessie cause jo and jasm had to stay back for geog thingy, i just ran off i guess? jessie and i talked, but not alot, ha ha, but it's kinda meaningful to me, i shared w her my point of view of some stuffs, yeah, you know? i haven't been able to talk to anyone like this .. maybe except him ..
was supposed to go to jo's house and do chem proj, but then plan changed, jo&jackie went pooling while jasm went home and do it herself ( but then jo's com had to break down at this time, but it's fine now! ), and then i went home after lunching w jessie(:

today!
i guess the only thing that made me feel anxious about was sports heats. today was javelin's heats & finals. good thing was - yayyy, i got into top 8 :D bad thing was - i didn't get into top 3 ): and what's worse is - top 3 are all fidelis members. but honestly, i really praise them, they're like .. superwomen? like sarah broke record and got like 18.36m, jo broke record too - got a 17 plus metre, and then i forgot what's the rest.
HOWEVER, i remembered mine! furthest attempt was 13.98m .. well, i THOUGHT it seemed alright for a first time thrower, but jo's also a first time thrower ): okay then, i admit, i'm weak ._.
well, maybe looking forward to discus heats, that's the only other thing i can probably score on .. since sarah's being replaced by jo! hees, NOT SAYING JO IS USELESS, but sarah is ... insane, she throws a discus like .. a ball?! so freaking far please ..
shot put? no hope lah, can give up already :X

hougang mall's mac w jo and jackie after heats. partly thanks to jackie goh, i didn't go for tuition cause we had to wait for him for like 10 mins and i kinda got pissed off, i guess? LOL.
so i became jo's helper - in measuring cups / boxes etc etc of mac's stuffs. yeap, and then i helped her w her sureys, means i went around mac asking people to do the survey.
o.O wondering why i'm so good? CAUSE I'M IN A GOOD MOOD MAH :D hee hee.

popular.
then met mely and joelin at library, hmm, was talking i guess? ha ha.
and home w jojo.

the borborchacha i ate when i went lunch w jessie, erm, so that's like my lunch! wow ._.

it's nice! but i still don't dare to try it w yam .. :P

guess who?!

CIAOS :D

i can't say much

T someone ( you think it's you, it's you ) :

I thought you were th only one left that I can trust but apparently, you told others whatever I told you. I'm never gonna trust anyone else but him.

Hello ! HL left her footsteps here ! Sound so stupid but nevermind -.-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XINAI, BABEH and ANGIE <3>
xinai! your pictures (:

during pure lit lesson before mrs brian arrives :

that's HIL, avril and Lynn.

hanli and hansel
( ps : that's mingxian's usual hiding spot which he always get spotted first! haha )

that's aikhow and weixiang! ._.

me and crystal?! hiding behind the door lah! hahas :P

cause i love you .. & i really do ..

Happy V. Day Loves <3>

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO JO ( 1st feb ) - don't rmb wishing her =X
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO HUILENG ( 11th feb )
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LYNNIE ( 14th feb )
HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO FARAH ( 15th feb )
HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO CARINA ( 16th feb )
&& lastly, HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO ANGIE, CHENNING and EMMYPOO ( 18th feb )

i'm still sick, fever's gone thou. thank god for that. but flu bug's still bugging me, rah, kinda irritating i have to wake up in the middle of the night to clear my ermhem, nose ._.
but anyway, I'm so glad my throat infection's over, finally i feel sooo much better. But i'm still coughing like some old man -.-
i just feel like drinking STRAWBERRY AND MANGO FRUIT JUICE! yummy! :P

Friday
gave out biscuits & sweetsandchocs.
hope him jasm jo jes mely hl jackie fab terr mac / nat.s will enjoy the biscuits thou it's abit chao ta and ... har, need i say more? xP
received presents back :D

i pinched like 3 to 4 chocs ytd when i'm still having my damn throat infection, feels rather nice, eating chocs without tasting if it's sweet or bitter. and eating food without knowing if it taste yucky or not, like that i'm not so picky then ._.
anyway, i was still running a fever ytd, just not as high as 38.6degree. AND yet we have to sit under the damn bloody sun in the open air field for TOTAL DEFENCE DAY, wow. total bullshit thou, can't even go to the toilet, (!!) so tell me, in the olden days, DO THEY PEE IN THE FIELD?!
lame.

school ended, there's chinese compo test. i wrote like 500 over words i guess? lynn says i'm crazy, BUT HEY! it's real life story, so, tatas :D
went compass w lynnie, but back to school to find nat.s for veritas training. omg, i was soooo not up to standard ytd, trust me, i was standing in the mid point, my discus flew LEFT and RIGHT most of the time, sometimes i wonder how i do so huh? uh-huh? ha ha.

training ended up 3plus, cause i just said : " wow, i feel so cold all of a sudden .. " and teacher went like : " HUH! sick liao lah, don't train liao, later you KUA ( chinese ) ah! " so we stopped. ha ha.
so waited for M to come, he sent nat.s home, teehees, love to disturb him and her please :P
but honesly, M's sooo sweet towards nat.s(: JIAYOU! :D

at home, and didn't went for tuition, yayy!
he got the shirts, that's all i need to be happy for the whole day :D:D:D
thanks to MAC :D:D:D

TODAY
LOLS, i'm still at home.
i realised one thing, every v day i'll fall sick, super suay ._.

lucas! ain't he sooo chubby! :D

rio vista .. hmm, lynnette's birthday (:

no idea wth i'm doing

fab's product.

amazing, canteen food looks yummy here ;P

playing w yilin's phone!

weixiang's icon, tortoise! LOL

ps : this tortoise loves "LV" scarfs! LOL

spot farah and you'll know why i take this pic :D

LOOOOOK! 38.6!! and i still went baking at emmy's house, hardworking right!

O.M.G, that's a freaking BEE / HORNET in my room early in the morning!

since it's v.day, i wanna make a prayer :D

To all gods,
please bless my friend H with courage and strength to overcome every problem of his
please bless my friend HL with every happiness in the world, i hate to see her sad
please bless M and W with every luck and opportunity so they could be with their loved ones
please bless L, N, J to have a long lasting relationship w their boyf
please bless my girlfs J, J, J, M, L, N, C etc etc to be cheerful everyday
please bless my love HIM with everything i could think of, so that he could have the most peaceful & smooth sailing life ever
please bless me with nothing but his love ...

it's v day in 2 days time, can i love you then?

HEY.
a quick post before i get busy again!

recent updates :
- i'm running a fever, a flu/blocked nose/throat infection & i got a temperature of 38.6 DEGREE like in the afternoon. no wonder i feel like the whole world's spinning ._.
- i went to NTUC w jasm today to get butters. har har.
- went out w emmypoo babeh ytd to get some baking stuffs.
- went to emmypoo's house to bake <3
- got the wrong premix, i got the biscuit one instead of the cookie ones, so good luck to you guys.
- there's PE on tuesday and it's really fun.
- TOTAL DEFENCE DAY ( advance) tomorrow, how can i survive ...
- i haven't talk t him since ... hais ):

ILOVEYOUGUYS:D
happy v day in advance :D

just not that right time

hello.
updates on my recent tests results :

english - 11/25 ( yes i know i fail, BUT it's highest in class, from what mrs singh say! :D )
chinese - 57 / 70 ( i kinda don't deserve this marks thou :X )
Emaths SD test - 29/30 ( omg, YAYYNESS :D:D:D )
chem : 15 / 50 ( aiya, i'm not last can le :X )

& i'm going tanning later! woohoo!

HI.
my blog's spammed by someone WHOM i know.
and this is to the motherfucker.

[edited]

Hey motherfucker, stop your sick disgusting acts, you don't even KNOW where i live, and you said you're BEHIND me? WOW, i'm speechless for that(: one fine day, what'll happen? ha ha? shall i wait for you to come find me NAKED? c'mon then, i'll ask alot of people to come okay!? :D then you can show off your BODY huhs.
and i don't love you(:
TO B : that's HOW i recognise who the FUCKING BALL LESS spammer is (:
your typing's soooo standard, i can show to ANYONE, it's pretty obvious. i'm not an idiot in case you DON'T KNOW(: oh, and, WOW! i didn't know i'm a pornstar?! ha ha ha, which mag you saw me at? o.O why idk sia? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE I STUDY AT?
dumbass(: hope i'm COURTEOUS enough :D
[/edited]
one last word : nabeh cheebye.

Hi people.
annonymous are super ballless :D
good day(:

sorry, no mood to blog longer.

GREEN GREEN ~~ YELLOW ! BLUE'S THAT?! ._.
okeh, i know it's facking lame, but i'm super lame that i kept repeating this particular sentence. LOL. stupid please.

THURSDAY
i love recess. not really recess, after recess exact.
when lynn and i get back to class at 11.30 ( jo jasm went selling cookies ), weixiang andy aikhow and daniel gan were in the class. super funny, playing hide and seek. LOL.
kind of lah, so lynn, huileng and i joined in! i took pics, show you guys later :D

FRIDAY
dance after school, ryan left early, cause sec 4's went late, got chinese test.
ORH HOR! someone copy from book! nehneh de ....
watched "the wedding game" at tampines mall w sean and kenneth last night at 9.30pm ...
PS : i didn't know a weekday ticket price would be 10 bucks? LOL.

SATURDAY
... that's why i'm late for physics remedial today.
LOL, it starts at 9, but at 9, i'm still at home eating bread. cool! i know :D
went compass for brunch w jo, huileng, weixiang, hansel, junhui, thai siong, wee ern, hanli, zhen hao, baohui, yong chieh and more more which i really can't remember everyone.
played STRESS w weixiang and i won him 3 rounds all the way!

ha, this is to disturb wee ern. OMG, I GOT CHAIRMAN'S SIGNATURE! hahaha :X

that's daniel gan hiding behind the box ._.

see the cupboard?
lynn is hiding BEHIND it, aikhow and andy were hiding INSIDE it ._.

and weixiang was hiding behind the teacher's table!
PS : huileng and i were hiding behind the door, LOL.

that's terr and fab at pool of RV

kris drew this, it's HANSEL w a ribbon. LOL

and erm, mrs brian drew this pooh bear HEAD and
aikhow, hansel went to add the packs and all. LOL

hansel drew this! hahaha

iloveyou, so much

SCHOOL DAYS.
dance today, vivo after school by myself. some idiot duaed me for the second fxcking time, so .. whatever. i got the stuffs i want, that's all. grats to me.
swim and tanning tomorrow w fab. i've a feeling i'll still be going alone, LOL, tatas.

added a really nice song just below my music section, i thought the lyrics are really nice(: so, may wanna pause my song and listen to the new song(:

The rain, just never seems to bring
the joy, I feel the same
everlasting pain of my loss remains

My heart, can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left the mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark

Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go

wish i could just make up my mind once and for all

HEYYO.

i'm feeling aches all over my body right now. hmm, what did i do?
right, i ran 20km, swam 50km, and then cycled for 60km.
believe me??
NAH! of course you won't! if you do, then .. erm, THANK YOU?! hahahas.

anyway, here goes.
i won 16 bucks on saturday, and lost 4 bucks ytd.
went cousin's house ytd, lol, ended up never lou heh!
was playing BLACK JACK from 3plus to 10.00PM.
i swear, i should be winning, and i was winning, AT FIRST lahs, then keep losing, then give up, then tried again, this time, each bet was a buck.
so, ended up winning back 6 bucks, in the end, i still lost four bucks.

was super sleepy by the end of the day, OMG ._.

TODAY, school was okay.
omgomgomg, i'm sooo looking forward to P.E tomorrow,
and omgomgomg, i'm becoming so sporty nowadays!
see uhs, my aim is to swim at least ONCE every week and jog for at least 30 mins for 3 times in a week!
py says i'm random ._. ~~ whatever! hehe.

THERE'S SS MOCK EXAM AFTER SCHOOL, and i just know it today.
WOW

okeh, so i gave you the clue, guess what i did after school?
...
...
...
...
...

ME WENT SWIMMING w cousin and kenneth AT RIO VISTA!! :D
PY opened the door for us ~ DUH!
and then i chased him up back to his house, CAUSE i dont want him see my fats :P
LOL, anyway, guess how many laps i swam ?
...
...
...
...
...
I SWAM 17 laps!
omgomg, what an achievement :D
imma so proud of it, that's enough!
PY gave me a WTF face and he didn't believe me.

and thing is, i don't believe myself either,
BUT fact is, i really swam 17 laps!
and what's worse, COMFIRMED aches tomorrow )):

PICTURES :D

hahahaha, i finally got this photo in! LOL._.
fyi, it's ME and PY :D
and that's edmund ahkor,
he loves me most :D

SUNDAY's ( ytd's )
clement cousin, his super retard fringe ._.
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER,
i'm wearing leggings.
and tatas, first time, howhow? LOL
mummy bought me a christian dior watch
and a crystal bearbear handphone keychain.
omg, i'm so scared that i'll lose one crystal ...


TODAY'S
guess who are these? LOL
( highlight for answer .. )
JIEKEY : jackie
ZHUSHIBING : jojo
JIESIMIN : jasmine
JIESSIE : jessie
MAILAKSA : melisay
MALAYSIA : melissat ._.


GOODLUCK TO ME AND EVERYONE FOR PHYSICS MOCK EXAM TOMORROW!

CIAOS :D