yeap. i'm confused. confused about so many stuffs. about myself, about you, about us, about everything ...
i've tried, tried to sleep and not think about anything else. tried to be busy so i wouldn't think about all those stuffs. tried to make myself be happy / optimistic, but it'll only last for awhile.
i couldn't sleep last night. not that i'm not sleepy. i am. but no matter what, i can't sleep. i swear i've been waking up every one hour to check on my phone. fuck. that's one fxcking disadvantage when you on your phone 24 hours everyday. and at 2plus, i was thinking should i call jo they all. i mean, they would probably be awake. but then, how do i speak? i hesitated, and decided not to. i don't even know whatthefxck is happening that i can't sleep. whythefxck this'll happen. do you know?
i wanted so much to tell you. but do you care? will you care? i've tried.. your response were kinda cold. to me i guess? or am i thinking too much. people who knows me well enough know that i tend to think alot whenever something happens, or rather, i think alot to scare myself. shiat man. what for ...
why do i have to be like this when your birthday's approaching? why .. I WONDER WHY TOO ..
i want to know how you're feeling. is there still love between us? or now, its just love from me to you. i kinda hope you won't be reading this. cause i don't want you to know. at all .. i'd rather be the cheerful girl in front of you then to let you know how weak i am actually. i may look strong, but i'm not .. i just kept things to myself ..
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