he who says he's a bastard ain't one.
but she who says she's a fcuking bitch is definitely one.

hey people.
i swear i've never felt any worser then how i am now.
and i swear i've never felt this bad ever before.

firstly i'm gonna say,
this post wouldn't be like the normal post,
it's about how i'm feeling now.
so if you guys wanna read on, it'll be fine w me i guess.
if not, i'm sorry ..

i had to thank and apologise to sg for .. well, accompanying me(:
and i had myself to thank for this whole shit of mess.
i would probably wanna apologise to him most,
i think i'm a bitch.

i'm serious.
does anyone knows how i'm feeling now?
i'm damn shag, i'm damn tired, i'm damn .. sorry for all this things that's happening.
it's just .. unbelievable how things could turn out this way in sucha short time.

it really dampens one's mood, one's day, one's everything.
it just sucks.

and not knowing the reasons for them,
i feel worse then ever anyone can feel.

seeing him scolding himself a bastard like no one cares,
pains me alot.
it just makes me think back.
what exactly happened?
why did it happen?
and who's the one that make this happen?

AND I SERIOUSLY THINK IT'S ME, A BLOODY BITCH WHO MADE ALL THIS FUCKING MISERABLE THING HAPPEN!

ohjesuschrist,
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO?
i'm sorting out my own feelings now.
what can i do when i myself can't even help him?

he's asking people to scold him like .. wtf.
i should really try scolding him,
but hey, i myself can't even scold myself yet i'm saying i wanna scold him?

ohplease melissa, stop being so NAIVE puhlease.
you're nothing but trouble trouble and MORE troubles!
you're making the person miserable!
you're so selfish!
you're an evil witch!

ohmyfuckinggod.
I REALLY NEED MY SIS'S with me!
but i shouldn't even be bothering them now!

know how i'm feeling like now?
i feel like an evil witch who have just poisoned him!
who have just made him feel like how he is now!

no one knows how i'm feeling now.

why..
why give me this bit of hope when you're gonna dash it?
why..
why make me happy for a moment just so i could take the next torment?
why tell me the truth so straight to my face you wouldn't leave me a gap to breathe?

please ..
i don't need you to love me.
i don't need us to be together.
i don't need anything ..
so long as you're happy.
so long as you're yourself ..
so long as everything's back to normal ..


end.

{EDITED - 1.01am}

i'm gna feel uber stress in school tomorrow.
one whole week of tests.
two tests idk how the hell i'm gna pass.

tell me, urgh.
pissed off ..

i'll have to start mugging from tomorrow onwards.
but tell me how can i with all these .. things happening .. D:
ROARS!

ending.
nights peoples.

he's not gna fall for you mel.
give up on ur fucking day dreaming stuffs!
IDIOTTTTT MELISSAAAA

everything is hurting right now.
to live the life i once had before i knew you.
i would say it's impossible.

to be as cheery like how i used to...
CAN I FORGET YOU? ..
no .. i cant .. really cant ..

ohno people.
i'm gna have to stop here.
emotions can't be blogged about.
i'm gng off to somewhere i could be alone.
goodbye.

wait for my next post ..
perhaps next week ..
or whatever ..

i'll miss you