hey people.
day was fine. i'm fine, at first.

how i wished school didn't end at 2.10 ..
how i wished i didn't have th cravings for ice cream so i wouldn't leave school ..
how i wished i hadn't turn and see them ..
how i wished ..
yet, heaven playing me, making me see things i didn't wanna see ..

i lost all appetites, i lost all my moods, i lost everything including the lil' confidence i had in me for you.
i didn't eat my ice cream afterall, i ate nothing ..
i didn't enjoy my rest of th day either, i sianed past it ..
pictures of you and her kept flashing past my mind every few mins ..

see,
how guilty can i be.
friend, i'm very guilty towards you.
how can i even dream of having him by my side, be mine ..
how can i even love him !
i am very guilty ..

i pained myself, i pained him, may even pain her ..
in sucha situation, someone is bound to get hurt,
and it's gonna be me.
he loves her, not me ..
she may love him ..
they stand a high chance being together ..
why should i hold on?

but i just can't let go.
how can i ..
god just doesn't let me have the guy i love ..
god just wanna make fun of me all the time ..
god just doesn't wanna see me happy ..
god .. what else do you want me not to be ?..

yes baby,
you two are competible, i mistaken you both as one ..
i shouldn't be thinking of you ..
you're hers soon enough ..

you're just not mine to be with ..
i just don't have the luck to be with you ..
we couldn't even start ..
yet we have to end ..

and tears ain't gonna help.
i'm strong, tears didn't even well up in my eyes.
did i control it well? ..
perhaps i'm just too numb to even have feelings now ..

boy i'm sorry ..
i'm still loving you till the day i can't love you anymore ..
when the day comes, i'll wish you two the best ..
and perhaps, i should have let go by then ..

being by myself sure don't help mentally..
but being alone sure feels better then being with your friends ..
when you're down ..

mel's very sad..
she's very numb..
she just can't express herself..
god just doesn't wanna see her being happy..

goodbye.

{edited} - 10.04pm.
i need sleep!
but i can't sleep! ..
i suddenly feel like posting this ..

thanks siaoehs, aiai, jiji, fab, terr, glp and many more.
for comforting me when you guys know i'm down ..
i promise i'll be me soon!
just give me a few days ...

PS: i kena hit in th face twice :X